Narcissistic people are convinced that they are superior to others, they have an inordinate sense of their own importance, and they convey a disproportionately positive idea oftheir own person. In addition, they need constant admiration and approval from others, towards those who show little or no empathy. However, behind this manifestation of extreme security, there is a fragile self-esteem that is vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
Surely we all have a small of “narcissism” that we could associate with self-love, but when this behavior taken to extremes shows the development of a personality disorder that causes adaptation and functioning problems in everyday life.
What’s behind narcissistic people?
It has always been said that behind these behaviors, there is low self-esteem, so they need constant evaluation and are not able to accept criticism. Even authors like Dr. Steven Huprich, president of the International Society for the Study of Personality Disorders and a professor at the University of Detroit, tell us about a hidden depression.
They have an obsessive need to have their greatness verified by everyone. And when they do not perceive it that way, they manifest anger and even aggressiveness. They are defensive reactions that can end in depression.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder probably think they don’t have any problems, but they may have great difficulties or like:
- Interpersonal problems (couple, at work, family …)
- Difficulties regulating emotions and behavior
- Big trouble coping with stress and adapting to changes
- Depression and anxiety.
- Inappropriate use of alcohol or drugs or other addictions.
- Having secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and humiliation.
How to live with a narcissistic person?
Living with a narcissistic person is difficult and complicated, if you can avoid it, avoid it, they are very complex relationships. If it is unavoidable, here are some keys to make it a little easier.
Distance yourself on an emotional level. Trying that what you tell us affects us as little as possible. In your attempt to maintain your status, your words and actions can be very humiliating, harsh, and hurtful. Therefore, do not assume what he tells you as a reality, but as a product of his problem.
Don’t show your feelings to him. If you tell him your sorrows, it is likely that he is not interested in them and this indifference will surely hurt you, entrust your problems to a more receptive person.
Every now and then it reinforces his ego. Deep down, the narcissist is a weak person and needs to be valued by others, acknowledge him when he has done something right.
Don’t try to change it. It will lead you to very complicated situations. The best thing is that you change yourself, trying not to be affected by their behavior. Think that it is not against you, but that it behaves the same with everyone, that way coexistence will be easier.
Take care of yourself. Monitor your self-esteem and your mood. Living with a narcissist is very difficult. Determine their limits and yours, and if you see it necessary, go to a professional.